How Your Dog Says, "I'm Sorry"

By: Colleen Terry

Close your eyes.  Imagine if you will, a world where your dog understands completely how much you treasured those leather gloves he just chewed to pieces.  He’s groveling for even a hint of your forgiveness.  He looks up to you with all the saintliness of a puppy seeking absolution for each sin he has ever committed. He vows to himself “I’ll never do this again to my beloved master!”  And he doesn’t.  Ever.  He appears truly humbled by his mistake and he now sees the error of his ways…

Snap out of it!  Says Amy Ammen, owner of Amiable Dog and co-author of Hip Ideas for Hyper Dogs. She believes that you are indeed taking a snooze if you are waiting for your dog to show signs of regret or remorse for naughty behavior.  A dog trainer since 1975, Amy reminds us, “dogs don’t feel ‘sorry’ for their mistakes in the same way that humans do”.

Some people think that when your pup gazes up at you with soulful eyes after making a big, fragrant blunder on your just-cleaned carpet, it’s an apology.  “It’s not," explains Amy.  “What you’re really seeing is a reaction to your reaction…they’re picking up on your body English.” 

So why does it seem like they know how angry we are when they goof up?  It appears that dogs have the innate ability to “sense” when we’re upset or when our mood is not as it usually is.  It is a doggie dynamic that rules their social behavior from day one.  Much in the same way that a dog’s hair will stand up when it senses a fearful situation from another four-legged creature, your dog will also lean into whatever body language or energy that you bring to the table when he’s being a less-than-perfect pooch.

So when he misses the mark during his last bathroom break, he may sense your disappointment by displaying what Amy refers to as submissive behavior.  “A gentle paw that reaches out to you, becoming still, ears back slightly, mouth relaxed, tail down…these are all ways that a dog responds to our upset.  The more sensitive a dog is, the easier it is to invoke a submissive reaction.”

While you may not be delighted that your dog doesn’t have the ability to express his regret, the good news is that once you see your dog break the rules, correction will prevent the behavior from happening in the future.  For those of us with dogs that wouldn’t know discipline if it jumped up and bit them in the nose, this may just be the cold splash of water that we needed.